I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
