She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
