their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I think my fart just growled at me.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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