Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
