i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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