She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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