Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
