They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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