you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
