so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
