So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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