You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
