the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
