Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
