this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
