He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
