Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
and you fell through a lawn chair
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