I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
