My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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