For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
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