You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
The air taste purple.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
