Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
