There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
