Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
