I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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