Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think my mom watched the whole time
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
