how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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