I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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