im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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