so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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