Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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