I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
