I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
