Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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