I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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