people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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