i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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