So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
