the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
