And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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