Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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