Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
