Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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