party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
