Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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