Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
