HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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