i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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