so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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