I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
