The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
