4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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