What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
