i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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