none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
honey bunches of taint.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
